the 50 states
Good news! On Friday, April 7, 2006, at approximately 2:00PM EST in a small courthouse in northwest Connecticut, I uttered the words "I do" in front of a crowd of 70 people.
No, no, no: I didn't get married! What a stupid idea (haha, just kidding)! That afternoon, I took an oath of allegiance to the United States of America and became a naturalized citizen. It means that travel will become easier and, more importantly, that I can vote (for something other than American Idol). It also means that I now have a passport to party like I've never partied before. With this in mind:
On Friday, April 28, 2006 at 9:00PM EST, in New York City, I want you to come celebrate this once-in-a-lifetime event.
As with any good party (trust me, I know about these things), this one will follow a theme: "the 50 states." When you RSVP, you will be asked to choose a state. Your task is this: when you come to the party, you have to have something on your person that symbolizes that state. This can mean coming in wearing something as simple as an "I love New York" t-shirt or a cowboy hat to walking in looking like Charlton Heston (and talking like him too, of course).
A few examples off of the top of my head:
If you are having trouble, here are some ideas to jump-start your thinking: the Bill of Rights, Thomas Jefferson's secret lover, the pretzel that nearly killed the leader of the Free World, etc. If we happen to run out of states (I would love this), just remember you can do places like the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, the Virgin Islands and numerous American naval bases around the world ("Atsugi", anyone?). You could even come as the USS Constitution (but just get ready for "She looks like such a big boat tonight in that outfit" comments)! Let your imagination run wild.
You can bring your friends as well but remember that they have to take part too! You could do a group costume: I'm thinking of "a barbershop quartet" and "Larry, Moe and Curly". If they'd like to register as a state, just send me their email address. Otherwise, they will just have to pick a symbol that's not directly tied to a state to avoid overlap (see above for ideas).
It's going to be a fun night. We'll talk about hot current events like the scandal with the New York Post, Brangelina and how high of a wall we'll have to build to keep silly immigrants from coming to this country. We'll trade stories on how you (or your family) made it to America and how your last name changed from "Wojciechgratz" to "Williams". We'll talk about New York and all it means to us. We'll talk about this wonderful world of ours and where we are going to take it. Maybe we'll talk about nothing at all! The only way you are going to find out is by coming to see for yourself.
I know you've got a very busy schedule and I hope you can make it. But just remember: if you don't come, it means the terrorists have won!